Catching on
by Nyanta
Summary: tofuu... stuck together, someone is hiding one's feelings while another one's trying to read the others...
1. The Long Walk Home

Forgive me for this crap I made…

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own it and you know that.

* * *

I have always known that I was not worthy of him.

Though that really didn't stop me from going on caring about fridge-boy anyway.

That was always so like me…

The problem is I cared way too much. I cared for him so much… So much that I think I fell in love with him.

And that's what hurts.

I love him but I am nowhere near his league.

I am not worthy enough to surpass the cold barrier he had built for anyone who tries to get too close to him. And incapable too.

Well except for Yanagi.

He adores her. Anyone can see that.

That's why Recca takes special care when it comes to his hime and Fridge-boy.

I admire him.

I admire his skill with the sword and the seemingly flawless way he handles it. It reminds me of a god… I admire the grace that he carries within himself. While me?… well I… sort of… stumble on everything.

I admire his unbending loyalty to his loved ones. That he even can offer his life for them. His quest for vengeance for the death of his sister…

He even sacrificed his happiness just for…

I admire his sadness…

Though I'd rather die than admit it to him. And besides, he calls me monkey so why would I indulge him? He has enough of fangirls to pamper himself with praises notwithstanding his cold exterior.

Sometimes I think that the world was totally unfair to him.

It was bad enough to have your world crashing down when the only person you care about is murdered.

Then Yanagi… the perfect mirror of his sister, he finally had found someone who can make him happy at last after all that he'd gone through… but she was involved with someone else… Recca.

The last straw was Meguri Kyoza, his teacher; his master who took care of him after the death of his sister turned out to be the one who actually betrayed him.

He had practically dedicated his life only for his vindication for his sister only to realize that the one who had helped him for this was the same person who killed his own happiness.

His only happiness.

And now, everything's over.

I wonder what would be his purpose for existence when his vengeance has finally taken its rest. I wonder how he takes all this things in.

I had wanted to comfort him. I wanted to reach out to him and assure him that everything's gonna be fine… because I'm here.

But I never really reached out.

Only Yanagi can.

Right.

Yanagi.

He lives now to protect Yanagi.

* * *

I walk with him today.

With me cheerfully skipping in front of him talking all sorts of nonsensical stuff which would occasionally earn me a snort or a snide remark.

I was a cheerful person.

But in front of him it was a cheerful mask to hide my innermost feelings that I'm afraid would cost me his friendship.

It was uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, I was happy this way. We live in the same neighborhood so he would get stuck with Ganko's and my company when walking for home.

We always tried to cheer him up. Sometimes we give him these surprise visits that pissed the hell out of him and we'd be dead if not for Yanagi. Sometimes, only Ganko and I did those surprise visits which is more disastrous in my opinion though he looked much more relieved I wonder. Or sometimes Ganko and I would pull him over to my home for tea and lately, he appears to be sociable enough to stay for dinner.

He seemed warming up to the gang though he is still the same fridge-boy when it comes to dealing with him personally.

I sighed. _What a mess!_

Ganko who was walking beside me gaped at me. "Fuuko-neechan?"

I sweatdropped and mentally kicked myself, did I just talked out loud? "Uh nothing!" I faked a smile then quickly looked for a proper excuse. "Just thinking of my Natural Science's project…"

"Hmm…?" she shot me an inquisitive look. "What about that?"

"Eheh!" my eyes perked upward. "I am momentously failing so my blasted teacher asked me to do a science project about the atmosphere! How am I supposed to do that in one week's time!" I said exasperatedly. Truly agonizing over the fact that I don't even have a single clue on what kind of science project I should do about the atmosphere.

"Maybe you could do a study about your Fuujin… Since it controls the wind and all… isn't?" Ganko had eagerly suggested that huge sweatdrops suddenly appeared at Mi-chan's and my head.

"Well I don't think he'd appreciate that…" I said between clenched teeth. "What does the world know about those bloody madougous anyway?"

Ganko shrugged. "Well… Mr. Shigeo knows awfully a lot about madogous and the Hokage." Ganko narrowed her eyes suggesting that she was in deep thought. "I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"Well… Mr. Shigeo is not my teacher Ganko. Adding also to the fact that HE is a HISTORY teacher Ganko!" I explained sarcastically. Don't know why I'm so at the end of my tether today…. Probably because of that bastard. Well personally, I'd rather give him a taste of my fuujin and blast him off to any god-forsaken place. I smirked. No teacher. No science project.

"Oh…" Ganko simply said then turned her gaze to Mi-chan. "Mikagami-niichan, what do you propose?"

I turned to look at him not actually knowing what would be his reaction. It's either he impress us with his superior brain capacity or he'd use that superior brain capacity to taunt my so-called low I.Q. one.

Well, he didn't have the chance anyway. We were interrupted by female voices up ahead of us.

"Ganko!" two girls waved excitedly at our direction.

"Trinity! Sherrie!" Ganko waved back as enthusiastically as they did.

The two girls hurried towards our position and giggled at the sight of Mikagami.

As expected, ice-boy didn't look pleased.

"Hey girls!" she turned to us. "Fuuko-neechan and Mikagami-niichan, this is Trinity…" pointing to a bespectacled girl with a pretty face who smiled shyly at us. "… And this is Sherrie." Pointing to a perky looking brown-haired one.

"Hi!" Sherrie beamed.

"These are my friends." Said Ganko. "Sherrie, Trinity, this is my sister Fuuko and this is Mikagami-niichan." She pointed at the two of us randomly.

I cheerfully waved a 'hi' while ice-boy only nodded.

The two girls smiled animatedly nonetheless obviously charmed with the handsome guy at my back. "Nice meeting you Fuuko-san, Mikagami-san!" Sherrie bounced merrily. Trinity only shyly nodded again.

"Ganko!" Sherrie began. "Were on our way to Tsubaki's house! I heard the party is gonna be a blast! Are you on your way?"

"Party?…" Ganko looked perplexed. "Oh no!… No, I didn't know…"

Trinity smiled. "It's her birthday. Everyone in class is invited."

Sherrie snagged Ganko's arm forcefully. "Come with us! It'll be fun!"

Ganko tried to pull back. "Eh! But Fuuko-neechan?…" she turned to look at me, her eyes pleading me to let her go.

Wait.

My head began to zoom in and I felt my heart constrict on my chest as realization hit me squarely on my face.

Oh no! This was not part of the plan! No Way!

"Fuuko-niichan?"

I'll be alone with Mi-chan! I haven't once been alone with him.

No, I can't!

It had all been easy to act cheerful and bubbly in front of him when Ganko's also there. I don't know how to act all alone with him. I'm…

I'm gonna fuck this up.

He might see behind the cheerful mask. He might realize my true feelings! He might

My train of thought was abruptly interrupted by a low bow of Trinity who had mistaken my panicked expression with distrust on them.

"Umm… Fuuko-san… You shouldn't worry about Ganko-chan… We'll take care of her. We'll ward off suitors, and we'll bring her home before seven."

"Fuuko-neechan, please? Can I go?" Ganko pleaded.

I stared at them, my jaw practically hitting the floor.

How can I refuse them now?… puppy dog eyes… children.

But…

What about…

"For god's sake monkey, it's just a party." Mi-chan calmly retorted from my back, his baritone voice rendering a cold wave at my nerves. "It wouldn't harm her or anything… just let her go."

You wouldn't be saying that once you found me pledging my undying love to you jerk!

"Fine." I surrendered feeling as if my whole world suddenly crashed on me. "Be home at seven."

"Yeah sure!" Ganko and her two friends started to run at the opposite direction.

"And no suitors!" I shouted at her.

"Hee… hee…" she waved then continued running.

I waved back.

Then my face took a sullen expression.

Now what?

* * *

-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-

Sherrie: "She sure looked stricken… It's as if we'll feed you to a monster."

Ganko: "Yeah… I sorta feel guilty… but I'd rather, she looked like I just fed her to a monster." (Remembering Mikagami's sharp mouth and cold attitude. "Hmmm... And a bishounen monster at that.)

Trinity: (ponderous) "Mikagami-san sure doesn't look like a monster to me… in fact, he's handsome."

Trinity: "Ganko-chan… are they a couple?"

Ganko: "Ah---" (sweatdrop)

Trinity: "Fuuko-san isn't much a beauty but… weird… they oddly look good together… must me the aura."

Ganko: (sweatdrop) "Guys… its not-"

Trinity: (ponderous) "Maybe she doesn't want to be alone with Mikagami-sempai… maybe he's a pervert that always takes advantage of her… I know a good body when I see one…"

Ganko: (pale) "W… what?"

Sherrie: "Ah! We're here!"

Trinity: "Whoa! I'm glad."

Ganko: (relieved and sullen) "Me too."

-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-

* * *

Not happening.

The situation had awfully gone more awkward for me.

I pretended to wave and stare at Ganko's retreating back while thinking of topics I can open in front of Mi-chan until there was no sign of Ganko's back anymore.

Nevertheless, at the end, I never did know.

My back tensed up even more as I prepared to face him. I wonder why I'm so riled up with something as shallow as "he" standing at my back looking at me when he might probably be looking the other way sneering his boredom off.

I've decided to use the cheerful-brainless-twerp masquerade.

I turned to face my back to see him actually watching me. My breath hitched.

Gak! Blue eyes… so handsome.

Oh for god's sake Fuuko! Pull yourself together! It's not like you haven't seen his face one too many times!

Oh I know dimwit! I practically see his face everyday!

But not looking at you…

Like that.

Huh?

Just like now…

I saw his mouth move… saying… "I want to go home now monkey" then he started walking away nonchalantly.

Huh?

My head bonked. "Oh… right…" I shifted my bag to my bag then followed him rather dazed. "L… let's go."

Did I… just imagined that?…

I eyed his back.

Maybe I did.

"I wonder why your teacher even gave you a project with the prehistoric I.Q. of a monkey like you…" he muttered while continuing to walk.

I definitely did.

"Hey Fridge-boy!" I growled. "That's the third time you called me monkey! Take it back!"

"Monkey." He repeated flatly.

What a jerk. "That's it! That's the last straw! You want a piece of me! Come and get me!" I nearly shrieked at him dropping my bag.

But he continued walking, his back looking bored even.

"Eh?…"

"I'm not in the mood to fight monkeys right now Kirisawa." He said.

I picked up my bag; the awkwardness I felt earlier replaced with the blistering anger I felt for him for dissing with my pride. I started walking, still following him. "Fridge-boy." I muttered.

Well at least it's not awkward for me anymore. I felt like a robot earlier… good thing I was at his back…

And besides…

His eyes.

They were like blue steel flashing.

It was…

Oh whatever!

Silence hung in the air…

The silence was like stretching forever. I'd be fidgeting if I could.

I fixed my gaze at his back again. He didn't look like bothered. Come to think of it, he looked like lost in his thoughts. It was even probably the case when he's with me and Ganko.

Then maybe he won't notice the silence.

I stared at the ground.

Damn! I'm the only one tensed up here! If only I could lose myself with my thoughts just like him! But then, I could only think about him, which will make me even more aware of him.

Life can be such a bitch!

Maybe if I rather fell in love with Domon I'd have more peace of mind.

What a mess to love an iceman. What a mess I am…

Where's that blasted intersection anyway!

I feel like I've been walking for hours!

A shadow that loomed in front of me had my shoes screeching for a halt. It was Mi-chan in front of me blocking my path.

WOAH! One more step and I'd be crashing with Mr. Pretty boy here!

Like preparing for battle, I took a breath then looked up to meet his dreaded cold gaze… his eyes.

Ice blue.

Beautiful… but cold.

"What?" I asked as calmly as I could muster, which came out too cold for my taste. I wanted to back out with the hard look that he gave me. But of course I didn't. My warrior instincts wouldn't let me.

"Oh…" I raised my eyebrows, straying my eyes at the back of his shoulder. Finally! Fresh air! Not that he smelled bad!

I noticed that we already had reached the intersection. He'll go right and I'll go straight ahead.

I returned my gaze at him, my heart painfully constricted at my chest with that cold unemotional look.

It's so frustrating.

It hurts.

My heart was at once overcome with a wave of melancholy.

He's so beautiful… and so cold…

I love him.

And I'd do anything to deserve someone like him…

"Umm… your project…" he started, a little apprehensive.

"What?" his words totally took me off guard. Did he just say my 'project'? What's he trying to say?

"Your project…"

"What about my project?" I demanded. I could see him fighting off a blush that's slowly creeping up to his cheeks with my interrogation.

"You can do a diagram of the different parts of the atmosphere…"

"What..?" my jaw dropped. He was listening?

"Well you said you don't know what to do about you project… so I… and…"

"Wha..?" he really did.

His face took on an annoyed look. "And will you quit saying 'what' over and over again. I know you're an idiot but you're really starting to sound like a broken record."

"Wh..! What the… d… diagram?" he actually told me what to do with my project?

"Even a monkey like you can make something as simple as a diagram of the atmosphere right?… Or are your brain skills that distorted!"

"Huh?" I stared at him, still reeling from the initial shock.

"And of course you must know everything about its parts… That will be easy since the atmosphere does not contain all sorts of formulas… etc… etc…" he continued while studying or I think he's studying me.

"You actually…"

He stopped. "Kirisawa, you really are that moronic, are you? I can't even make out what you are trying to say!…"

I winced. Sometimes, I do wonder about that.

Scratch that. I'm a warrior anyway!

I noticed that I was gaping at him openly. Fuck! I shut my mouth and met his eyes. "Uh… yah…" I looked at him uncertainly.

He just looked at me, so I took a step back, suddenly aware that I was too close. Enough to hear him breath and too close to his gaze enough to make me confess everything without even allowing my superior warrior brain skills to think…. What am I thinking!

I smiled. "Well… thanks…" I don't really know what to say… I need to get away… quick! I again took a step back and I was about to run for my life… well… er… make that for my heart… when he grabbed my wrists and started pulling me towards his part of town.

"What the hell Mikagami!" I bellowed.

"Stop shouting like a maniac! You're embarrassing my name just being with you! You're even lucky monkey that I'm helping you with this project of yours!" he retorted still pulling my poor hand but not looking at me.

"Ok! Ok! I can walk by myself Mi-chan!"

He dropped my wrists while still walking. "Jeez! That hurt!" I inspected my wrists… I think its dead… all the blood has gone…I followed him. "Oi ice-man! Finally melting huh? I just knew it!" I happily teased.

He just continued walking.

Damn!

What can I say?

I cringed.

Then I smiled. This can't be that bad right… right?

* * *

Someone save me from myself.

Right now.

We are lapsing into silence.

And I just ran out of things to say.

I am still following from the back, wryly studying him.

It is just so unfair! How can a guy look so beautiful in front and look good too even if his back is facing you.

Damn it! I know I am having a bishounen overload! I won't be surprised one day when I'll be signing up in his fan club holding banners and whatnots and I'll be screeching my empty head off with every impressive … move?.. he makes…

Darn!

All I think about is Tokiya Tokiya Tokiya Tokiya.

Maybe I really out to sign myself in that club!

Aaaarggh!

Quit thinking and start talking Kirisawa!

I was about to resort to the lamest effort for conversation about the weather when he suddenly broke the screaming silence that was totally blowing me into chunks with his voice. He kinda has a cool voice…

"I was wondering Kirisawa…"

My ears perked up. Oh… even fridge-boy wondering about something…

"Why did you look scared earlier?"

I flushed. "Scared?" Scared? He's not making sense… oh shit! Does he know? "Stupid! Stupid Kirisawa!" I mumbled to myself.

"When Ganko was invited to that party…" he glanced at me as if looking for something. "And when you were abnormally quiet the entire walk…"

I am so dead! I'm gonna kill myself! Yeah… like… right now!

He suddenly paused as if contemplating his words. Then he continued. "Are you per chance… afraid of my company?"

I stopped cursing myself and also stopped walking. "Huh?"

* * *

aaahhhhh! I've abandoned this story for awhile and I have completely got this plot worked out! But when I got back to it I completely forgot what would happen next! I am so stupid!

Ehehhehehe… I'm writing fanfiction when prelims is just around the corner… yah… talk about sluggish…0

Oi jef! Magupdate ka naman!


	2. Run Away

Ehehehe… Glad to know some of you liked Fuuko's POV… I had a reason anyway… scratches head Tokiya's POV would be heavy material… and I ain't got that… and besides, I'd probably just bore you out if I try to be so…No offense to Tokiya's fans out there. He aint boring. The author is just trying to explain to you in her most gentle way that she is a brainless twerp… Ew!

Sorry guys for not updating for after let's see… um I don't know, really… school was heaven (a.k.a. pure torture.) I swear the instructors in our university seem intent on busting our brains out with their heavy requirements blah blah blah. Aarghh! I'll stop now.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:** Trinity and Sherrie are mine, that's the whole lot…

* * *

"A…" my voice croaked. "Wh…. Why should I be afraid?" then I blinked at him, my heart was thumping with dread slash anticipation slash excitement slash fear mixed into one. But I wanted to know, when it came to him I always wanted to know.

'Why'd you ask?" I tried to stare up at his eyes. I focused my gaze at his eyes and yes, a pity, still cold to the core.

He paused for a while then tore his eyes away from me. His tone, if possible, was becoming icier than usual.

"Nothing." He turned his back on me then resumed walking.

"Let's go."

I flinched at his voice.

I always get a pang when he uses that voice on me, it made me feel I didn't matter to him at all.

I ought to be used to that right?

The silence seemed to seep through.

I clutched my handbag tightly and shook my head. Then closed my eyes and bowed my head down. How my hand tightly clutched my bag was like how the hand inside my heart clutched mine.

Painful.

"Why'd you ask?" I repeated. Drop it Kirisawa, like he'd tell you.

"I said it's nothing monkey." He answered, oblivious to the fact that I was not following him.

"Oh so?" my voice dripped with sarcasm. "You ask questions for fun now. You asked something because it's just nothing?… Haha… great hobby Mikagami, it's so like you. Try another one."

He stopped short then slowly turned to me. He seemed to be looking at me while here I am staring at his oh so very interesting shoe.

There was a long silence after that.

I realized that he is not going to talk so I decided to look up, meet his eyes and force him an answer. "Hey! You didn't-"

"Were here."

I glanced at his side and indeed; he was standing in front of his home.

We were about 2 feet apart, and quite frankly, I can just run away and forget about everything…

I sneered. Yeah sure!

Everything.

Like it is that so easy…

Yeah, like it's so easy.

What am I doing anyway?

I can't just stand here looking at him.

And so I ran… past him, and the ever clumsy me bumped into him slightly, but I didn't want to care, I just went straight to climb the steps to his house.

When I reached the last step I hoisted up the nearest window and slid inside ignoring his call.

"Kirisawa… there's a door!"

"Yeah… and there's a window too!" I shouted back. You know, quite frankly, I think I might be loosing my logic. There's a door my ass.

I headed for his familiar kitchen, since I stay there most of my visits, I inspected the contents of his fridge and his cupboards. Boring. Seriously, how did I ever fall for him? I surmised as I continued to ransack his immaculate kitchen. I settled for some miraculously present junk food then headed back to his living room. I plopped down to his couch, turned on his television and was munching away when he emerged. (He took a long time coz he needed time to tell himself "I will not kill the monkey!" over and over again and convince himself that he wasn't lying.)

"Okarinasai, ice-man." I greeted him still looking at the TV.

At the corner of my eye I saw him freeze. I mean, he just stood there, maybe studying me again.

"I see you made yourself comfortable."

I'll be damned if I am comfortable fridge-boy! "Uh-huh." I nodded.

Then he disappeared.

I stopped munching. I set aside the pack. If I eat more, I'll throw up… Hey! It's not exactly easy to just stuff your mouth with junk non-stop and pretend to some fridge-boy that you're SO comfortable…

I frowned. What's with this façade?

I shifted from my seat.

It's not me… I can't keep hiding…

But what would happen if I just…

I sighed.

* * *

What am I here for?…

Uh yah…

My project.

I'm here for my project.

I'm sitting here in the kitchen, plotting my "diagram" in a cardboard. Stacks and stacks of books were either scattered at the floor or piled at the kitchen table. Is he a bookworm or what?

I took a moment to glance at his profile; he was seated at the very far edge of the table, probably to get away from me as usual, reading his chemistry book. And oh… do I really need to say this? I'm sure everybody knows it already but let me boggle your minds once more when I say that he looked impeccably handsome and pretty and gorgeous and drool-worthy etc etc, as you would expect him to be.

Earlier, he had been instructing me with what to do and what not to do, he was a huge help, really. I already know everything that should be known, all I have to do is plot it in this cardboard and it's finished. Thank god for the brains of this walking block of ice!

I took a longer glance at him this time. This silence is starting to get to me. "Hey fridge-boy!" my ears stung. Wow! Am I that loud or I just haven't heard any sound for the longest time? Thanks to yours truly the ever stone cold Mr. I-will-not-say-a-word-unless-my-life-depended-on-it.

He looked up. "I'm not in the other side of the mountain monkey. Why do you have to shout?"

I'm betting for the latter.

I beamed at him, deciding to ignore his remark. "This house is too big for you. Why don't you sell it?"

He looked shocked, he stared at me as if I had started to morph into the monkey he claims us to be. "Are you out of your mind monkey?… I will never sell this house."

"Then have it rented then, on summers. It's near the beach and all…"

By the look of his face, I think he's starting to sputter. I take "shocked" back, he is horrified.

"Is this supposed to be a sick joke! This is the place where my sister and I lived! I won't have it desecrated--"

"By old very dependable people who couldn't even hurt a fly chosen by you. C'mon Mi-chan! It isn't that bad!"

"… Isn't that bad!" he repeated, his eyes flashing murder.

Nope, he is totally disgusted by the very idea of it.

Silence.

Now he's in a state of catatonia.

"Well?…" I raised my eyebrow at him after a few minutes of shocked silence. I wanted to snicker but I still want to live mind you.

"Just drop the subject monkey. I suggest you stay out of matters that don't concern you."

Drop the subject?… Stay out?… oh… "Well… yah you're right… But you know what?… I'm not."

He stared at me, his eyes flashing cold looking at me with contempt.

"Why do you want to change the subject when you insist on staying with your past?"

"What!" I'm imagining that he is furious; I can feel his rage emanating from within him I even stifled the urge to cower.

Warning sign Kirisawa. Stop now. You won't win with him and you know it.

No.

I'm giving this bloke a piece of my mind and nobody's going to stop me.

"Well… Look. You got your vengeance; you know who's who… But you're still ice-man. I don't get you at all. You don't want to talk about it but you won't forget it. What's the matter with you?"

He stood up and I felt my resolve wanting to crumble. I can feel all the hard work, all the little trust he gave to me as a teammate slowly deteriorate in the sudden barrier he had created with his cold cold look.

"What I am and what I choose to be doesn't concern you at all, Kirisawa."

Cold.

"Oh yes it does! You are Hokage, and the moment you chose to fight with us had bound us together. So it does concern me!"

"Bound or no bound it doesn't matter Kirisawa. I joined Hokage to seek vengeance. Not friends. Not concern, not especially from you."

Cold.

"I know that you idiot! You think it matters to me? Besides for your vengeance, you joined Hokage to protect Yanagi! You don't want her pulled to pieces by the Uruha so you joined. Why don't you at least admit that?"

"And so I did. But if I knew someone like you would do some stupid stunt like this then I would have done otherwise. And so I repeat, it doesn't—"

"There you again! It doesn't concern you. It doesn't concern you… What concerns you anyway? And you still haven't answered my question!"

You're childish.

So what?

He's hurting me and I refuse fall apart before him!

He walked towards me, standing just in front of me. Then he looked down, as if sizing me up, trying to read me. "Why do you care so much anyway? Why do you act like its big deal that I answer that?"

I stood up, meeting up his gaze. "Well maybe because it's important to me."

I knew he was surprised, I saw it in his eyes, but it was gone just as fast as it appeared. "Why?" he asked. His question was more of like a command.

"Why?…"

I can't say it.

"Because you are Hokage." I fidgeted but I never wavered from the gaze. "Because you are my friend. Because I care. Of course because you're my friend. So that's why I care." I stared up at him.

Why do I cook up so many excuses anyway when there is only one…

Really. I need something better.

Oh fuck it!

"Because I like you… I mean not because you're a friend… yes you are a friend but you are a friend I really like… I mean… I want to know what you really mean but… but what I mean to say is that I think I…" I gazed at his astounded eyes.

"I…" I breathed in.

"I love you."

He didn't move. He was stunned; he was frozen to the spot. His jaw might just be dropping to the ground and he won't notice it. I'm not even breathing. Yah, even "I," am stunned with what I just said.

Then he moved, just a bit and looked the other way. He was contemplating… maybe thinking of ways on how to reject me…

And still…

"And you know what? Strange… when I try to see the two of us together… it just…" I gazed up at him.

I'm babbling.

I waited for a response.

"Will you say something!" I mouthed, my head bowed down.

He didn't answer.

I just can't picture it…

And so I took a step back, gazing at his beautiful face for some last hope. "Well… so… I guess… I'll…" I took the unfinished diagram and ran away, not even bothering to finish what I am supposed to say. Not like he'd hear it, not like he'd care.

Everything was a blur as I ran. Somehow I regret everything that I said. A part of me wanting to be content on being just there for him. But a part of me knew… I knew that this thing was bound to happen…

We will never be the same again. I know.

Tears started to well up in my eyes but I blinked them away.

What's the use anyway?

Never fully trusting someone won't mean anything…

I am his friend… and this is all I can do.

I love him…

And this is all I can do.

I guess it was just too much to believe that he can love me back…

I reached for the doorknob.

I dropped the diagram as strong arms pulled me back to a firm embrace. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"Don't…" he hesitated. "Don't go…" his grip tightening around me.

I was stunned.

My head suddenly buzzed with a growing hope and at the same time a sense of caution in me for a pain I know that I might experience. Another part of me wanted to throw everything away.

However…

"Please…" he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… What I said… It's just that…"

Something inside of me snapped as realization had finally hit me.

Then a mist started to cloud my vision. What I can only feel is the ache I feel coming from inside brought about by me who assumed something so much…

So much…

And so I sobbed in his arms. He seem to distress on my sudden outburst that he held me closer.

"Fuuko… I…"

"No! Don't talk!… Don't say that. Don't say anything! Please!"

I grasped his arm. "I just think it's unfair! It's so unfair that you say it doesn't concern me. That I don't have any right to be concerned when you appear to be warming up you know. You stay for dinner at home now so I just assumed… I assumed that… It's so unfair! How can you lead me on like that! It's so unfair that you try to help me with my project and… You ask me if I'm afraid of your company and then you said its nothing… And I said I love you… and you won't answer. You won't talk. It's so unfair when you are so young, so beautiful, so gifted and yet you are so cold, so unhappy… And here I am, I love you, and it's so unfair…"

I tried to struggle away; I don't want to be comfortable in his arms. I don't want to remember this. Any of it. But he didn't budge. He held me there; never letting go, and I cried more.

"Can't you see Mi-chan! If you don't let go now! If you don't let go now…" I cried harder.

"Fuuko… What I said… I'm so sorry… So sorry…"

Then I felt his grip slowly easing away until I can't see his arms around me anymore. But he never moved from where he stood at my back.

Then I ran away.

Away from something that felt so right.

Something that I can never have.

I don't know but the gods must have conspired against me at this moment.

It rained hard today.

* * *

I don't know why but this is supposed to be one shot. And then it extended into two chapters. And then it turned into more… AAAaarrgghhh! This is getting nowhere I tell you!

Umm… I don't have a beta-reader… she's too busy right now so if there are any errors… kindly inform me please?…


	3. Catching On

Sorry for the looong delay… I finished chapter 3 a long long time ago but I found myself confused when the 'real' ending came to me and then I wrote it… So I got frustrated about the whole matter 'coz I liked the first one I wrote, but I also liked the new one. And then when I finally decided on the new chapter, the pc got upgraded and I lost all my files… (Stupid me who didn't have a backup sniff)… And so I ended up writing a chapter entirely different from those two… Anywayz, chapter 3 is here now and yes, it's the ending chappie… I have to warn you though… this chapter is a sappy one, but if you don't mind then go ahead… hehehe

My thanks to all those who reviewed!

**Chapter 3: Catching on**

**DISCLAIMER: **Aint got nothing in here that's mine. Just um… the plot, I think… scratches head Enjoy reading!

_She…_

_Loves _

_Me._

_I…_

_Never…_

_Had _

_Someone… _

_who did._

_Not since…_

_Mifuyu…_

_Who is gone._

_And now._

_Fuuko_

_Is running…_

_Away…_

_Away from… me._

_She'll be gone._

_And it hurts._

_Because…_

Outside, the steady patter of the rain grew stronger…

_She'll be gone._

Raindrops, landing and echoing at every corner of this house…

_And she can't…_

_Go._

The door slammed shut as I stumbled through the heavy rains outside.

And I ran… feeling the raindrops falling over my eyes, feeling my chest tightening with too much exertion. The ground had been slippery, and so when I stepped into a puddle of water, I slipped and landed on the wet ground. I can only stare at a figure fading into the rains… I can only hear the sounds of rain.

Knowing full well it was my fault for pushing her away, I can only watch her disappear… _leaving me_… _here_

In this lonely street…

The rain didn't seem to be harsh and cold anymore.

_Not once._

_Until this moment._

This moment…

_"It's so unfair!"_

_"I love you!"_

_I love you._

I raised my hand trying to reach for her; but she was fading. I stared at my outstretched hand; it was shaking… as well as my entire body… I looked at her again. It wouldn't reach her no matter what. But I wanted her to stay… I wanted her to go back…

"Fuuko!"

The rain continuous to pour.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-

The creak of the swing's movements yet again broke the silence of the park. I swept my gaze at the park for the umpteenth time and still found it empty. The sky was a bright red orange, signaling the setting of the sun. It would be night soon. I shivered as I felt a light wind course through me but I welcomed the cold. The cold makes your skin numb… you're cold… but at least you're numb, but I can't be numb, I cannot stand the cold…

It is an impossible wish… to hope that the cold would seep into my heart so I can somehow, know what and how Fridge-boy feels that will inadvertently direct me into a way of thinking Fridge-boy has, which I… in a masochistic kind of way, hope would make me worthy of him.

Boy, I sure am desperate.

Well… being Mikagami, he definitely wouldn't go for just any other girl. He's the one-woman-man type, the loyal kind of guy… And of course he'd like… he'd like…

He'd like her.

I swallowed a lump in my throat.

But he'd never get Yanagi, not when Recca's around.

I could almost laugh. Like the way I'd never get him…

I found myself stifling my tears again and I tried to smile. I felt like an idiot.

Then again, years would come by, Mikagami will meet and fall in love with a beautiful, graceful, charming, intelligent, cheerful woman who'll melt his heart and they'll get married and live happily ever after like any other fairy tale should be…

The cold wind brushed again and I hastily pulled my jacket closer.

I do have the knack of torturing myself aren't I? I surmised bitterly.

Falling in love with him… it was a mistake in the first place. I reached out believing he'll open his heart to me in time, I was a fool. How can he like a tomboy like me, anyway!

It was stupid. I was so stupid! And why should I even like him! He acts all high and mighty around us, he's rude, he treats us like we're all beneath him, calling us monkeys as if his sister being killed is a passport for him to…

I gripped the swing's chains to stop my train of thought and stared at the sky for a moment… and then I buried my face in my hands, choking back sobs.

Stupid.

It wasn't his fault. It was the way Meguri Kyoza had taught him… had trained him. It wasn't his fault that he grew up to be this way… No one was there, he was alone, no one had… if there had been then he wouldn't grow up to have only one purpose in life… vengeance. But then…

I hate it… I hate it so much… how can he…

I felt the tears fall from my closed eyes and I hated it, so I shut my eyes tightly. And in the silence of my surroundings I thought I heard footsteps. I paused to listen and soon heard it growing louder and stopping in front of me.

"Fuuko…" went a voice I know so well.

I went rigid but I was not surprised, somehow… I expected this.

"Fuuko, I…" and then he faltered. There was a long silence after that. The only sound to be heard was the creak of the swing as I slowly dragged my body upwards to sit up straight, removing my hands in my face and resting it in my lap. I never lifted my head though; I chose to stare at my hands.

And he started again. "Yanagi told me…"

Yanagi.

"… it's been two days—"

"I'll get over it." I interrupted him with the most casual voice I could muster.

_Stop it. Don't say anything._

_Yanagi. You always mention Yanagi. I love you, you don't love me, that's one equation I'm trying to get through and yet you slap me with Yanagi_.

It was painful seeing him… seeing myself this way.

_It would always be Yanagi for you, right Mi-chan…?_

"I didn't mean to dictate on your emotions." I continued. It doesn't matter to me now anyway, knowing he didn't care…

"I don't really even know what you've gone through. So just give me this day… I'm fine, I promise. It's done. Don't worry I'm attending school tomorrow. I was bummed. I'm sorry I said things I'm not supposed to say. I didn't mean it to end like this… I'm sorry"

_I don't want to hear your voice._

"Now please leave."

_Please, go._

_You'll just keep saying Yanagi. _

And then there was a long silence again after that. And I was glad this time. I want him to leave. It was bad enough that he has to reject me; he also has to see me looking like this… In his eyes, I probably look like a monkey that got her banana stolen. He must be disgusted. It's only because of Yanagi that he's here. I don't have a reason to hate Yanagi but right now I wanted something to break his and Recca's princess.

But oh yeah, she's the princess, of course she'll always get the prince. It's just too bad for prince charming here that she chose the ninja instead. I guess he was too cold for her. And I… what am I? The monkey who fell in love with the prince?

I stopped my train of thought then, realizing something.

I've become bitter… I could never hate Yanagi… but…

If that is so then… when will this monkey fall out of love with this ice-cold prince?

After this… I smiled bitterly, feeling my chest tighten. I don't have a reason to be with him anymore… I didn't even had the chance to say goodbye…

It was then that I heard footsteps coming towards me again; I stared at the ground and saw a pair of shoes directly in front of me. _Mi-chan?_ I wasn't sure anymore.

"You know…" he started and I stilled.

Mi-chan… he didn't go?

"It was because I was afraid that you would know… and then you'd be scared, like you did."

Afraid?

I was about to look up but Mi-chan's warm hands around my face stopped me. At that point, the days I spent just wandering around and sobbing with self-pity finally took a toll on me… My mind went blank.

"Afraid of what Mikagami? I don't understand."

"I just answered your question."

"My question… What question?" I said tonelessly.

"Your question."

My question… my mind dimly registered flashes of what happened the last time we were together. "On why I look afraid." I stated.

"Why should I be afraid of your company, Mi-chan?" I asked, vaguely recalling that I had asked him this question before.

"I was afraid that you'd know… And I don't want you to leave me." He said.

It didn't make sense. Mi-chan didn't make any sense to me. But I felt it, even in the steadiness of his voice…. what was it? Uncertainty? And fear… He tightened his hold on my face.

"Why did you run away?"

There was something in his voice that told me that there are so many things he wanted to say. But he couldn't…"You didn't stop me." I said.

"You struggled."

"You let go."

And it was silence again. I felt him letting go but I brought up my hand to touch his'. "But I understand…"

Slowly, I removed his hand from my face to finally meet his gaze. His eyes were ice cold blue, but this time I didn't feel cold.

I smiled at him. "Finally melting huh?"

He smiled back… I gaped at him for a moment. My mind suddenly recovering and starting to function. He actually smiled, I can't believe it.

And it would have been a movie-like ending for the two of us if he didn't suddenly waver and started to fall.

"Mi-chan!" I screamed and rushed… more of lunged at him in an effort to break his fall but his weight truly appalled me because I always thought of him as a little bit skinny, which was a big mistake for I lost my balance and we soon landed on the ground.

I stared dumbly at nothing for a while. Was I dreaming?

I stared at the guy I held in my arms. I couldn't believe it. He just fainted on me… I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

I decided to laugh when the dark circles around his eyes caught my attention. I brushed a lock of his hair away from his face and proceeded to inspect on his pretty face. I hovered my hand over his nose to make sure he was breathing. Well, I sighed, he seems fine. I gazed at him again, suddenly hypnotized with the rise and fall of his chest.

_He hasn't slept._ I painfully realized.

I heard a bird squawk somewhere so I quickly averted my eyes to the sky to watch the black bird soar across the sky. It was then that I noticed the bright red-orange hued sky… the sunset.

I smiled. Silly Mi-chan, it has been 3 days… I looked down at him again noting that he looked thinner and the uniform he wore was filthy. I had a stinking suspicion that it might be the uniform he was using the last time I saw him… which was 3 days ago… I was taken aback. And he said it has been 2 days…

His uniform really needs to be cleaned…

He never went to school, I deduced point blank.

Evidence of the fact that his sense of time was seriously distorted, I could only guess that all those days, he had never been conscious of what have been happening to him. I guess he went and wandered too

"Mi-chan you're an idiot!" I cried at him. "Considering you're a genius, you're the biggest idiot when it comes to this!"

Did he really need to torture himself this way just to realize that… wait… he didn't even say he loves me… That piece of…

"Hey Mi-chan!" I shook him. "You're supposed to tell me you love me, not faint on me you bastard! I don't suppose you want me to decode all those words you said to me, it didn't even make sense! And how am I going to carry you home?"

I heard the bird squawk again and I became silent.

He still didn't say it…

I stared at the bird for a moment.

Shit.

I gazed intently at him having this idea that he'd somehow say 'I Love You, Fuuko' in his sleep.

But does it matter? I thought for a while. It must have been pure torture for him to ask someone to stay with him… to come up with the courage to open up to me and tell me not to leave him…

No.

It doesn't. No way am I leaving him now that he'd tell me I can't leave him! I'd stick with my Mi-chan no matter what.

I smiled.

Yeah… my Mi-chan.

**END**

Nyahahahaha! I'm not sure on what I've done here. Um…

I figured that a confession from Mi-chan won't come easy (and I'm quite sure he won't make anything easy for himself), so I made him go sulk and torture himself like any other angst-y anime character would do for 3 days before he'd go find his happiness and open his heart to Fuuko. I'm sorry, but that's how I understand Tokiya's character. I hope you enjoyed the story anyway. And feel free to inform me of any grammatical errors or violent reactions about the fic.

So, until the next fanfic ya'll!

immortalsoul


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